Planning Your Own Wedding Abroad? Read This First
“Do we really need a wedding planner?”
My honest answer?
No. You don't need one.
Just like you don't need a pilot if you're happy flying the plane yourself.
But if you're getting married abroad, in a country where you don't know the legislation, the suppliers, the local customs or the rules surrounding events, having an experienced professional beside you can make a world of difference.
And after many years in this industry, I feel quite strongly about this.
Because I have seen and heard far too many stories of couples who decided to organise everything themselves and later discovered that something wasn't quite what they thought it was.
The villa that wasn't suitable
Let's start with one of the biggest mistakes I see: booking a beautiful villa without checking whether weddings or events are actually permitted there.
A villa can look absolutely perfect online, but that doesn't automatically mean you are allowed to hold a wedding there.
It could be in a residential area. There may be restrictions on music, noise or events. There may be local regulations you simply aren't aware of.
And I have even heard of couples arriving only a few days before their wedding and discovering that the villa they thought they had booked didn't actually exist.
Imagine having your guests arrive from all over the world and suddenly having nowhere to get married.
That is not something you want to discover three days before your wedding.
When suppliers disappear
Then there are suppliers.
I have heard of couples paying a florist in full, only for that florist to disappear shortly before the wedding.
No flowers.
No answer.
No money.
Gone.
And now you have three days to find a new florist, organise everything again and somehow find the money to pay for it all a second time.
This is why a professional wedding planner's network is so valuable.
A good planner doesn't simply find suppliers on Google. She has built relationships with people she has worked with, often for years.
She knows who delivers.
She knows who is reliable.
And she knows who she wouldn't recommend.
Catering is more than choosing a menu
The same applies to catering.
It's not simply about choosing what you want to eat.
What about allergies? Lactose intolerance? Gluten? Vegetarian or vegan guests? Children? Special dietary requirements?
What about quantities, service, drinks and timing?
These are details that need to be communicated properly and checked again.
You don't want to discover on your wedding day that your caterer didn't know about an important allergy or that something you had agreed on was never actually implemented.
Sometimes your planner has to tell you “no”
And this is something I feel quite strongly about.
A good wedding planner isn't there simply to agree with everything you say.
Sometimes she has to tell you something you don't want to hear.
I've had couples tell me:
“No parasols. We don't want parasols.”
And sometimes I've had to insist.
Because I am thinking about the guests.
Their parents. Their grandparents. Their friends. Their children.
If you're getting married outside in the Spanish summer and everyone is sitting or standing in direct sunlight for hours, I'm going to tell you that you need shade.
Sometimes it's because of the budget. Sometimes because the location is windy and the couple doesn't like the idea of parasols.
I understand that.
But if I genuinely believe your guests are going to be uncomfortable, I'm going to say so.
And this is where my personality comes into play.
I'm from Rotterdam a typical Dutch girl. I'm direct.
With me, you know exactly where you stand.
I won't tell you what you want to hear just to keep you happy. I won't make something sound better than it is.
If I think something isn't going to work, I'll tell you.
Even when you don't want to hear it.
You may not always like what I say, but you'll always know I'm saying it because I have your best interests at heart.
And then there are the things you don't think about
Music regulations.
Noise restrictions.
Insurance.
Contracts.
Deposits.
Cancellation policies.
Supplier arrival times.
Transport.
Weather.
Power.
And yes, even electricity.
What happens when you're celebrating your wedding in a beautiful villa and suddenly the entire neighbourhood loses power?
The music stops.
The lights go out.
The catering has a problem.
And suddenly you're standing there thinking:
“What do we do now?”
A professional wedding planner is already thinking about the backup plan.
And the same applies to rain, extreme heat or strong wind.
A Plan B isn't simply:
“If it rains, we'll figure something out.”
Who moves the chairs?
Where does the ceremony go?
Where does the catering go?
Who calls the suppliers?
Who tells the guests?
Who makes the decision?
That's the difference between having a plan and having someone who knows how to execute the plan.
Don't forget your guests
Destination weddings also involve something couples often underestimate: guest logistics.
Your guests may arrive on different flights, stay in different hotels, need transfers, hire cars or travel with children or elderly relatives.
Who do they call if their taxi doesn't arrive?
Who helps them if they get lost?
Who knows where everyone is staying?
If you're answering those questions yourself on your wedding day, you aren't really enjoying your wedding.
You're working.
And that's perhaps the biggest reason to hire a wedding planner.
You shouldn't have to be the wedding planner at your own wedding.
A good wedding planner earns her fee back
I know that hiring a wedding planner is an investment.
For a good, experienced planner, the fee can sometimes feel like a monthly salary.
But remember: she isn't working for you for one month.
She can spend months researching, planning, negotiating, checking contracts, communicating with suppliers, visiting locations and solving problems.
And she is often available seven days a week.
A good wedding planner should earn her fee back through better supplier choices, negotiations, avoiding expensive mistakes and protecting the money you are already spending.
Sometimes you'll see exactly how she saved you money.
Sometimes you won't.
Because the biggest saving can be the problem that never happened.
Don't wait until the last minute
And one final piece of advice:
Book your wedding planner early.
A good wedding planner is rarely sitting around waiting for bookings.
She has several couples, often several weddings in the same month, alongside other events and ongoing planning.
Wedding planning doesn't stop at five o'clock on Friday.
It is a seven-day-a-week profession.
And in destinations like Ibiza and the Costa Blanca, December and January are traditionally much quieter months, with many suppliers and businesses taking time off. In Ibiza, the season starts winding down around November and things really begin to come back to life around March.
So when you think you have twelve months to plan your wedding, you don't necessarily have twelve full working months.
I generally recommend allowing around a year for proper planning, and 18 months ahead is even better if you want the best choice of venues and suppliers.
Some popular venues are already booked two years in advance.
And if you want to save money, booking early can help with that too. Prices rarely go down, and availability certainly doesn't increase.
One final personal note
And yes, this turned into a rather long blog.
But I needed to write it.
Because I am genuinely still amazed by some of the things I hear and see happening around me.
Couples losing deposits.
Suppliers disappearing.
Venues that aren't suitable.
Rules that weren't checked.
Catering details that weren't communicated.
Guests sitting in the blazing sun because nobody wanted to spend money on shade.
And couples discovering problems just days before their wedding.
I have seen too much to simply think, “Well, that's their choice.”
Of course it is their choice.
But I want couples to have the very best experience possible.
That's why I will always recommend professional wedding planning when you need the support, whether that's full planning, day coordination or simply coaching if you genuinely want to organise the wedding yourself.
Because you don't necessarily need someone to do everything for you.
Sometimes you just need someone experienced to look over your plans and say:
“Stop. Don't sign this yet.”
And believe me, that sentence can save you a lot of money.
So, do you need a wedding planner?
No.
But after everything I have seen over the years, my advice is simple:
Don't look at what a wedding planner costs. Look at what she protects.
Because a good wedding planner isn't a luxury.
